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So, I want to take credit for this but, alas, I cannot.  I must admit that the inspiration for this blog is from Homegoods.  I am trying to be more Marie Kondo (see previous blog July 2019) and de-clutter but for now, I cannot always resist that temptation to browse.  I saw I sign there that said, “Break Your Own Rules” and it really resonated with me.  A few weeks prior, I was brainstorming with my staff, and my wonderful biller Elaine noticed I was starting my sentences with “I wish” more than “I plan to…” and she said, “you’ve got to be fearless.”  That made me go Ouch, but Ouch is what I needed. 

In my office, there is a George Addair quote: “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”

Here, I say “Go ahead.”  I give you permission.  Pause your reading and Google him.  He’s NOT the real estate developer from the post-Civil War era but the OTHER George Addair, founder of Omega Vector.

Many times, I know I am making decisions out of the fears of the unwritten “rules” I have established for myself that float around in my head and no one else’s head.  I would imagine you have them too?  I am not ready to share my personal fears because I still want to abide by my “rules” and have not learned to break those, but I am willing to share other fears. 

I often fear the hard work of being a leader to get what I want.  I don’t really fear failure because I have some level of faith that if I work hard, I’ll get what I want or come closer.   I fear the financial and time burdens of taking on a new goal.  I fear asking even more of my tireless staff and myself.  I fear hiring people and not being able to pay them.  I fear the negative impact on my family.  I fear that it will have no impact on my family because they resigned themselves long ago to my devotion to work. 

It’s the hard work and stress I want to avoid.  It’s the anguish of being too tired or too in debt to see it through. 

You, dear Reader, can guess many of my unwritten rules but I shall share a few publicly:

  • I should not be reckless and whimsical and should think things through more thoroughly.
  • Embarking on this venture will show everyone how I have failed to think things through thoroughly.
  • I should not ask more of your family, myself, my staff than I already have.  I work too many hours already (by the way, I am writing this in my office on a beautiful Sunday).  
  • I should bring in more income or carve out more time before I start on another venture
  • I should get all my projects and systems in tip top shape before embarking on a new venture
  • I should be more efficient and focused before starting a new venture
  • I am too old and have too little energy

Funny how articulating and labeling my fears diminishes them.  My fears are real.  They certainly have merit.  They are still scary and make me feel vulnerable and alone.  What to do when I feel alone?  Draw strength and inspiration from others, of course. Franklin D. Roosevelt said the “only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”  Buddhist teachings tell me to accept that I have fears but not be resigned to them and think that I shall always have these fears.  Whew.  FDR and Buddhism tend to lighten my load.  Not 100 % confident but I am actually bored with my self-absorption.  I imagine I am sitting on an airplane at the gate.  Everyone else has disembarked with ease.  Even the crew has left.  Workers are vacuuming around me. The cabin door is open, and no one is rushing me out.  I think I am ready to change planes now. 

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